I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
