You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
