summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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