pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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