I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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