So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Randomize
