Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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