I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
