from now on my penis is your penis
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
