Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
