he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
