Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
