found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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