Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Sober January is a disaster.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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