Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
