; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
