There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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