i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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