just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
