You're a womanizer and a bitch.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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