I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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