you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
