i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize