come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
