Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
