I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
