How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
