I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Randomize
