How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I DEMAND FORESKIN
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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