We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
