He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
