I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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