If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
