Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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