I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I cut my penus on the lid.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
