batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
