Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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