You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
