I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
