Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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