i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
