what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Randomize
