so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
