i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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