Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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