i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
