i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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