I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
