Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
