get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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