In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I have aggressive nipples.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize