Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Randomize
