Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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