Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
