sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
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